If You Come Today !

If you come today, its too early
If you come tomorrow, its too late
If you come today, its too early
If you come tomorrow, its too late
You pick the time,
tik tik tik tik tik tik,
tik tik tik tik tik tik,
tik tik tik tik tik tik,
tik tik tik tik tik tik,
Darling !

If you come today, its too early
If you come tomorrow, its too late



Did you say morning ? no, no, its not good,
Did you say evening ? no no, its too bad,
Did you say noon ? no no its not the time,
What did you say ?
Hey, what did you say ?
Nothing, oh its all right,
You pick the time,
tik tik tik tik tik tik,
tik tik tik tik tik tik,
tik tik tik tik tik tik,
tik tik tik tik tik tik,
Darling !

If you come today, its too early,
If you come tomorrow, its too late.



Million drums beat in my heart,
Million dreams haunt my heart,
Million desires spring in my heart,
Million memories seize my heart,

Million drums beat in my heart,
Million dreams haunt my heart,
Million desires spring in my heart,
Million memories seize my heart.

You pick the time,
tik tik tik tik tik tik,
tik tik tik tik tik tik,

If you come today, its too early,
If you come tomorrow, its too late,
You pick the time,
tik tik tik tik tik tik,
tik tik tik tik tik tik,
tik tik tik tik tik tik,
tik tik tik tik tik tik,
Darling !

I have an Orkut Dream!

I am happy to join with you today in what will go down in history as the greatest demonstration for freedom in the history of orkut.

Few score months ago, three slilly desis, in whose symbolic shadow we yawn today, signed the Emancipation Proclamation from IPFC. This momentous decree came as a great beacon light of hope to hudnreds of orkut slaves who had been seared in the flames of withering thread hijacking. It came as a joyous daybreak to end the long night of their captivity.

IPFC-Snobs.

But 2 years later, the Orkut desi still is not free. Two years years later, the life of the Orkut desi is still sadly crippled by the manacles of segregation and the chains of discrimiIPFC-SNOBS. Two full years later, the Orkut desi lives on a lonely island of intellect poverty in the midst of a vast ocean of wisedom prosperity. Two full years later, the Orkut desi is still languished in the corners of IPFC society and finds himself an exile in his own e-land. And so we've come here today to dramatize a shameful condition.

In a sense we've come to orkut's capital to cash a check. When the architects of IPFC-SNOBS wrote the magnificent words of the SNOB-Constitution and the Declaration of Independence, they were signing a promissory note to which every E-Desi was to fall heir. This note was a promise that all men — yes, Pathay khan, Ramdev baba, Gajodhar pandey as well as Pappu Mechanic — would be guaranteed the unalienable rights of e-life, e-liberty, and the pursuit of e-happiness.

It is obvious today that IPFC-SNOBS has defaulted on this promissory note insofar as her citizens of different intellect are concerned. Instead of honoring this sacred obligation, IPFC-SNOBS has given the Orkut desi people a bad check, a check that has come back marked "insufficient funds."

Patthay khan at The Bank of IPFC-SNOBS


But we refuse to believe that the bank of e-justice is bankrupt. We refuse to believe that there are insufficient funds in the great vaults of opportunity of this IPFC-SNOBS. And so we've come to cash this check, a check that will give us upon demand the riches of freedom and security of justice. We have also come to this hallowed spot to remind IPFC-SNOBS of the fierce urgency of now. This is no time to engage in the luxury of cooling off or to take the tranquilizing drug of gradualism, intellect masturbation.

Now is the time to make real the promises of e-democracy. Now is the time to rise from the dark and desolate valley of segregation to the sunlit path of IQ justice. Now is the time to lift our IPFC-SNOBS from the quicksands of intellectuall injustice to the solid rock of brotherhood.

Now is the time to make justice a reality for all of God's children. It would be fatal for the IPFC-SNOBS to overlook the urgency of the moment. This sweltering summer of the Orkut desi 's legitimate discontent will not pass until there is an invigorating autumn of freedom and equality. 2006 is not an end but a beginning.

Those who hoped that the Orkut desi needed to blow off steam and will now be content will have a rude awakening if the IPFC-SNOBS returns to business as usual. There will be neither rest nor tranquility in IPFC-SNOBS until the Orkut desi is granted his netizenship rights. The whirlwinds of revolt will continue to shake the foundations of IPFC-SNOBS until the bright day of e-justice e-merges.

But there is something that I must say to my people who stand on the warm threshold which leads into the palace of e-justice. In the process of gaining our rightful place we must not be guilty of wrongful deeds by following Pappu Mi-Kanic's advice of "Maro ma-kado ko". Let us not seek to satisfy our thirst for freedom by drinking from the cup of bitterness and hatred. Lets us not e-burn any embassies, We must forever conduct our struggle on the high plane of dignity and discipline. We must not allow our creative protest to degenerate into physical e-violence.

What we should not do with Snobs.

Again and again we must rise to the majestic heights of meeting physical force with soul force. The marvelous new militancy which has engulfed the Orkut desi community must not lead us to a distrust of all Snobians, for many of our Snob brothers, as evidenced by their presence in this thread including Himanshu and Ayesha , have come to realize that their destiny is tied up with our destiny. And they have come to realize that their freedom is inextricably bound to our freedom. We cannot walk alone.

And as we walk, we must make the pledge that we shall always march ahead. We cannot turn back. There are those who are asking the devotees of civil e-rights, "When will you be satisfied?"

We can never be satisfied as long as the Orkut desi is the victim of the unspeakable horrors of Snootylicious’s brutality. We can never be satisfied as long as our bodies, heavy with the fatigue of orkutting, porn, cyber sex cannot gain e-lodging in the threads of the SNOBS and the Scrap book of Moderator there.
Self proclaimed MPD Manic, dictator Snootylicious

We cannot be satisfied as long as the Orkut desi 's basic mobility is from a smaller e-ghetto to a larger one. We can never be satisfied as long as our Cartman (Prabhu) is stripped of his selfhood and robbed of his dignity by signs stating "for pseudo-intellect only."

A Common desi orkuttian,Gajodhar Bhaiya.

We cannot be satisfied as long as an Orkut desi in Paris cannot e-vote and Pappu mechanic in bhopal believes he has nothing for which to post at IPFC snobs. No, no we are not satisfied and we will not be satisfied until justice rolls down like waters and righteousness like a mighty stream.

The tale of Subtle Antarmahal (2006)

The other day my mother was wondering about the prospect of this Indian juvenile generation, where kids are more concerned about PS3(play station 3) and WI, where girls care more about the latest costumes Gahur khan and Carol gracias wore at LAKME India fashion week.




Eventually young boys and aged uncles turned out to be the major down loaders of these two particular clips, Are we seeing some revolutions here? Are the centuries long differences between boys and girls deserting away? What about the so called Generation gaps? and Gender gaps? Are Carol gracias and Gahur Khan the new force and inspiration of united India?

Anyways these questions can be and will be addressed somewhere else.



Right now we are talking about Antarmahal, and apparently the concerns of my mom that young generation is not religious enough. The film comes as a balmy and agreeable amend.

In the very first shot you will hear, Soha howling “God ohhh God!”, and your inner self will start to value the audacious of Rituporna Ghosh for experimenting with such a venture, I mean this not the era where director can craft “Jai Santoshi Ma” and expect big bucks in return, these is the arena of Mallika Sherawats and Rakhi sawants, But god bless you Rituporna Ghosh for reviving the curiosity of our young cohort (Specially of young girls in “God ohhh God!”), Then the camera moves towards the central characters, and you find yourself vacillating with revulsion, while seeing 50s something Jackie dada curling on a bed with 19s something Soha ali khan, bringing her to culmination.

And I started wondering whether my Bhopali pal Pappu mechanic ( he pronounces it as MI-KAANIC), was accurate about this movie? In his words “Miya Art-wart sab bakchodi hey, ma-kada BI-LOOO PHI-LIM (blue film) hey”, (This art stuff is just al play of words, this is nothing but a pornographic movie). Can he be precise? But I favored watching rest of the stuff or Art, whatever you prefer it to call.

That Art (or love making) eventually followed with another dozens of similar subtle art works, where Jackie dada and Soha's skills of recreating KS on the 72 mm would do justice to all the eventual comparison to Kyle Stone and Alana Evans’s class. When I really started to wonder about the real motive of the movies, it clicked in the end.

So Ritu porna ghosh was trying to bring us back the ancient knowledge? Is he trying to teach the subtility of Fragonard's The Swing?

Is he trying to teach us beauty of what Artlovers and critics call as Pompeii’s Upper-class Roman art work?

More then that were he trying to teach us the art ( or science?) of the Ancient pearl for which India is legendary ( Yeah, you got it right I am referring to KS)?

Now after thinking for two consecutive weeks, I can certainly tell that yes, that is what he was trying to attain, After understating his Philosphy I can only salut him (No not with my John Thomas, You dirty rascal,but with my Hand), And too all the less worthy mortal darned souls like Pappu mechanic (MI-KAANIC), who were tempted to use “Kanoon ka lamba haanth” in the darkness of theatre, I would suggest to reassess their perception of this jewel of a movie called Antarmahal and re-watch it with new angle. In the conclusion let me univocally recommend this artwork and I have no hesitation in saying that this Trio of "Jackie da-Soha-Ritupurno.gosh" can by far beat the lessers "Ron Howard- Russell Crowe- James Horner" on any given calendar day and with this kind of unremitting efforts will let them attain the eminence of Legendary Mithun da-B. Subhash- Bappi lehri in the impending years.